National Infertility Awareness Week 2017- Listen up! And Hear Our Story

  I've spent months thinking about writing an honest post about infertility. I never did because I was afraid of making people feel uncomfortable. But I want to be an advocate for the issues that surround infertility. I want to help others going through this know that they are not alone.

   So listen up! This is our story. We tried to get pregnant for 3 years, spent almost all of our savings on tests and still weren't able to get pregnant. It sucked. To say the least. My doctors and fertility specialist were helpful until I got my diagnosis of hypothyroidism and PCOS. After that, it was like everything stopped and they just told me to keep spending money on more tests and more Clomid. No help on how to control my PCOS. I eventually stopped going to them trying to get help getting pregnant and just wanted help with pain that I have been having for over a year. Every time I went in it was the same thing. I had a giant cyst, they gave me birth control to make it shrink, and I would around $200 for a simple 30 second ultrasound and two minutes of the doctor's time before she would run out of the room without asking me if I had questions. I did that for months. It used up money that was supposed to be going into savings. It was hard and frustrating and I would bawl after every visit. How was I supposed to get pregnant? Without birth control I would have cysts that prevent me from ovulating and birth control is very effective for me and I am not lucky enough to get pregnant on that. It was a never ending cycle of cysts and birth control.

    Throughout all of this my self-esteem hit rock bottom. I truly hated myself. I often thought I must have done something wrong at one point in my life for God to think I needed to go through this. I thought maybe God thought I didn't deserve to have children. I could hardly stand to look in the mirror because my PCOS causes horrible breakouts and I do not know how to use makeup to cover up acne correctly. I gained 20 pounds (I've lost 7 lbs thanks to a $3 jump rope and less soda!) and honestly I felt like a huge balloon. I figured I wasn't good enough to be a mom and that I obviously didn't deserve it. I wasn't able to sleep. I did not have any positive thoughts about myself.

    I compared myself left and right to others. Especially young moms and women who are pregnant, and I often felt like others were comparing me to others too. I pulled away from people I know and care about who were able to get pregnant. I was jealous. I didn't understand why they got to have their own kids and I couldn't. It hurt and I did not want to hurt more than I already did. So I stopped talking to them completely. I lost friendships that I never wanted to lose, but my jealousy caused me to pull away. Infertility can cause feelings that break apart relationships.

   Talking about infertility has not been easy, and that makes me frustrated. I have tried to be more open about it and now I talk about it all of the time, to most people. There are still others I dare not talk to about it because I am afraid of getting judged harshly and they will give me very unhelpful and hurtful advice. So my next point is, give support, not advice. Advice seems to just hurt more than help. I know you mean well and that sadly, people do not know what to say. No one wants to admit that it is happening. It is a really crappy thing to happen, but all it does is make it worse and you are gambling that won't get punched in the face.

We do not care if your niece ate pineapple for a month straight and got pregnant. We hate the idea that it will happen when it happens (it may not happen!). Do not tell us to pray harder (honestly, what a horrible thing to say!). Don't tell us that your friend got pregnant after she adopted (good for her! Not everyone is so lucky!). Please do not tell us how easy it was to get pregnant for you. We are jealous, and flaunting it just really is not nice. You had to try for 2-11 months to get pregnant? You have no idea what it is like, so please do not try and tell us you do. Please stop telling us that we are young and have time. That is so not the point. Infertility literally kills dreams, no matter how young you are, it still hurts and having time does not make it stop hurting. Don't tell me to just enjoy spending time with my husband. You just made me feel worse for not enjoying my husband when I thought I was! Please please please do not tell me to relax. Telling me to relax makes me more stressed and unable to relax.

I have read so many posts on harmful things that people say and unfortunately we have been the receivers of almost every one of those comments. I know people aren't trying to be rude or hurtful, but it happens. Just please think about what you say. You may be thinking, “well I do not know what to say”. Simply saying I am so sorry or that sucks, really means a lot. Or asking how you can help means a lot. Just listening to someone talk about it can make a difference. Asking how an appointment went is always nice. Not saying anything and giving a hug is always a safe way to go if you do not know what to say.

    Not knowing what to say is understandable. People just do not like to talk about it. Why? I imagine it is like how people do not like to talk about depression and anxiety. For some dumb reason it is awkward. It can be hard, but the more we talk about it, the easier it will be and people will start to understand how prevalent infertility is. 1 in 8 couples have to deal with infertility. It is extremely common, and it needs to be talked about. I hope that those suffering from infertility will speak up this week. I hope that people will become more aware of this issue so that more can be done about it. Right now there is pretty much no help from insurance providers when it comes to fertility (do not get me started on that). That needs to change (that is all I will say about it).

     Everyone goes through infertility differently. I happen to be quite bitter and cynical and often felt like I was the only one who felt like that. Everyone else seemed to have hope, and after the first year and a half, our hope disappeared. I had people tell me to not give up hope and say it will happen. Honestly, Abe and I do not think it will happen, and we have come to terms with that. There are other options out there.
    I have heard many women say that their infertility has been a blessing. I have not yet felt like my infertility has been a blessing. If my infertility is supposed to be a blessing, I feel like it will be a blessing for someone else. Hopefully someone who is struggling with it also and can relate and know that they are not alone. As alone as you may feel, remember that there are still women out there (like me!) who haven't been able to get pregnant. For women out there still going through this, please remember that you are not alone.

-Amanda and Abraham                                                                                                  

                                     

Our version of a Christmas Card!

Merry Christmas!

It has been a crazy year and I really just have no excuse for not writing anything besides that. I graduated a year ago from Weber State with my degree in Early Childhood. I have been working as a teacher at Head Start here in Ogden and I love it! My coworkers are amazing and many of the kids are very sweet and loving.

Abe got an amazing opportunity for a paid internship at Ben Lomond High School here in Ogden instead of doing regular student teaching. He is loving it and will graduate from Weber State with his degree in Spanish Teaching in April. He will get to keep his job at Ben Lomond when he graduates, as long as they continue to like him that is ;-). Many parents of his students have come to him and told him that he is their child's favorite teacher. I am so proud of him! His instructional coach said that he has great classroom management already! He still wants to continue his education and get his Master's and Doctorate degrees, but he feels less rushed now. I just want him to be happy with wherever he is and will be proud of him no matter what he decided to do with his career in teaching. He is an excellent teacher and will do very well anywhere he goes. He is extremely excited about summer vacation. It will be his first summer not having to work since before his mission. I will also not be working so we are going to have to find something to entertain ourselves. We are going to be moving apartments! That will help keep us busy for at least a couple of weeks.

Six weeks ago I went to my doctor about pain I was having and to get my thyroid levels checked. I walked out of the office after finding that I had a cyst taking over my whole left ovary that was almost 7 cm and possibly a smaller cyst in my right ovary. It is also a possibility that I have Endometriosis (Google it), because of the type of pain I have been having. I have been on a super strong dose of birth control to try and get the cyst to shrink. It is continual dosage so I have to skip the sugar pill week. My body has not been pleased with this and I have been grumpy and tired. If the cyst had not shrunk in 6 weeks I was going to have to get surgery to get it removed and check for Endometriosis.

I went to the follow up appointment this week and my cyst has completely dissolved! Thank goodness! My doctor told me to stop the birth control today and get onto prenatal vitamins because it is possible that I have been drained of folic acid. Endometriosis is still a possibility but she is going to hold off on diagnosing that because the only way to really diagnose it is to have surgery I guess. If I still can't get pregnant after trying IUI then we will look more into that. So for now we are not trying aggressively to get pregnant but we are not preventing it. Once Abe finds out if we have to pay his full tuition then we are going to start being more aggressive with trying to get pregnant again. We will try fertility meds again and IUI.

This year for Christmas we have been doing the Light the World Calendar. It has been awesome. I love the focus on charity and it really does help get us in the Christmas spirit. I would suggest looking at it and trying it out. Even if you are not active in the church or LDS! It is a wonderful way to celebrate the birth and atonement of our Savior. He made a huge (that is an understatement) sacrifice for us and it is a wonderful feeling to try and give something back.

In Relief Society this past Sunday we also had a lesson on trying to be more like the Savior and obtaining his attributes. We were challenged to select two or more attributes that Christ has and studying about the attributes for ten days. Every day you will pick one attribute and find a scripture on that attribute that really touches you. Study it and pray about it (pray like you are speaking to a friend or parent) and ask for help on becoming more like Christ and obtaining that attribute.

I loved this challenge because the past year I have had a very hard time being patient and submissive. When first starting trying to get pregnant I was excited and hopeful. As almost three years of trying to get pregnant have passed by, and I have pretty much failed at being female, I realized that I was in the mindset that I want it now so I am going to get it now. That has just made me extremely unhappy and bitter (I pretty much have to stop myself from sobbing every time I see a pregnant woman and pregnancy announcements are like a stab in the heart. And do not get me started on all of the hurtful things that people say to you or just ignore about you when you've been trying for almost 3 years).

But I have had to come to an understanding that it is not my will, but God's will and I am just going to have to be submissive, patient and faithful. It is extremely difficult trying to switch my brain over and become submissive and patient. I am neither of those things really. This challenge is really helping me and it has been a wonderful opportunity to try and make myself more like our Savior. I would also suggest trying this challenge  if you are feeling like your faith may not be as strong as you would like it to be or if you are working on a specific attribute.

We hope that everyone is doing well and have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

-Abe and Amanda

P.S. If anyone is or knows anyone who is going through fertility issues like we have, they are more than welcome to send me a message on Facebook. It is a poopy situation and the holidays are especially difficult. We are hoping to be more open about infertility and welcome any insights and would love to have some friends who understand and are going through this now!

Oh and my little sister Alexandria took some family photos for us. These are just a couple of them!

Fall Updates

Happy Fall Everyone!

School has been extremely busy. I am in my last semester of school and I am student teaching at Weber State's Children's School and I am also student teaching at a Head Start in Ogden. I am busy teaching until 4 pm and then I come home and do lots of hours of homework. Haha but it is good! I am so close to being done. I am very nervous because I have to pass two huge tests and I have one coming up in two weeks and one is in December. I am freaking out a little bit. I feel like I do not know enough. I have been loving student teaching though! The children at Head Start are amazing and I am so excited to graduate and hopefully I get a job at Head Start. Abe is also super busy. He is taking a few of his Spanish classes and he is also taking French. He had to take a long 4 hour test and go to an interview to get accepted into the education program here at Weber. Once he is accepted he will graduate in two semesters. So next December he will be done with his Bachelors! Then he wants to go on and get his Masters Degree and Doctorates. We think it would be fun to try and go to Spain or somewhere for him to get his Masters or Doctorates, but we will see what happens! I am very proud of him and all he does. He works so hard and he never complains. He is the best.

I did not get pregnant. So I am once again on birth control. I just want to relax and not stress about it anymore. I always felt miserable and down on myself and it sucked. So we are done. We will try again probably, but right now we just quit. And I am 100% sure I am not lucky enough to get pregnant on birth control so I just will focus on school, graduating, and getting a job.

Well that is all we have been up to!

~Amanda

Thyroid Tests and Clomid Cycle 2

Hello!
This is just a quick update on my thyroid and Clomid. I just got my TSH results and it is all normal! So I do not need to change my thyroid medication. That's a relief! I will be on thyroid medication for the rest of my life though. Which is fine and I was expecting that haha. I am just glad that the medicine worked and that my levels are now in the normal range. The nurse said that if I get pregnant they will up my dose of thyroid medicine, but I have to actually get pregnant first. But really I am very glad that, from what we can see, I have no real huge issues anymore and I am ovulating, so really, I can get pregnant and hopefully I do.

My second cycle of Clomid also went well! The second day I had a pretty bad headache for about an hour until Abe made me take medicine for it. Then it went away and I felt great. I did not get grumpy or gain weight. Which is awesome. I did ovulate again which is good. I am glad that my body responds to it so well and we are hoping that we are close to getting pregnant.

We have decided that if after my third cycle of Clomid we are not pregnant, we will stop trying. Just to relax and chill for awhile. I want to lose the weight I have gained since we got married and I am sure Abe just wants a normal wife back haha poor guy. He has been so amazing through all of this and he has not once blamed me or gotten upset with me. He really is the best husband ever. I do not think anyone else would deal with me like he does haha. I am very thankful that he is my husband. I love him very much. If we manage to get pregnant I will definitely let everyone know on here and keep updates. If we do not and we reach the point where we take a break from trying, then I will let everyone know that too and do little updates on what we are up to with school and our lives. Thanks for all of the love and support everyone has given us! It means a lot! Have a good week!

~Amanda

The Day I Decided to be Cheap

Hello All!

I have decided to write about my wonderful experience of trying to save our little family money. Our apartment complex here in Ogden is fairly old. There are not many new apartments in this area and the new ones are way more expensive than a young married college couple can afford. So our plumbing and drains are not the best quality and every three months the sinks get clogged and we have to go to the store and waste money on something that unclogs the sink. Well this time I was sick of spending $5-$10 on Drain-O or some other brand. I looked up a few ways on Pinterest of how to unclog sinks in a cheaper way and finding good reviews, I bought baking soda and vinegar instead Drain-O. 

I got home and was all pumped to finally have a bathroom sink that drains and I saved money doing it and I had enough supplies to last me a year of unclogging the sink. I looked up the exact way of how to use the ingredients together and how to put them in my sink to get the optimum results. I followed the instructions step by step. I let it sit, then I poured hot water into the sink to get everything down like the directions said. It wasn't draining at all now. Not one bit. So I left it alone for 30 minutes to see if maybe it was but just super slow. I came back and it was still full of hot water. So I thought I did something wrong. I immediately called my parents house to ask my mom what her secret was, because she told me how great it worked. I called and my dad informed me that she got home from work at about 9 a.m, and so I asked him, and he told me to plunge it. I was thinking huh weird. Sounds odd, but I figured I would give it a try. 

I go back into the bathroom, determined to have a sink that drains. I grab our plunger and stick it in the sink and push down as hard as I can..... Now if your sink is clogged, apparently water goes up into the draining holes. 

I pushed down and the most disgusting black goopy water came shooting out of those draining holes. It literally got all over me, our sink, our mirror and the floor. I wanted to die. It was so gross and smelled terrible... and I was covered in it. I was so shocked I literally sat there for a good 30 seconds wondering what the heck to do.I am so glad my mouth was closed then I pushed down on that plunger. Thankfully I had moved our toothbrushes and my hair brush into another room. I grabbed everything off of the sink, gagging as I was going, and threw it into the shower, turned on scalding hot water, and washed everything off. Then I got to work on myself. Then I finally cleaned the bathroom up. 

My sink is still clogged and I am waiting for Abraham to get home so that we can go to the store together because I have already been there once today. I learned my lesson. I am never going the cheap route again. I love those chemicals that unclog my sink. They are worth the money. And I love showers and soap.

Amanda

Summer Updates!

Hello!
Still no luck with getting pregnant. All of my blood tests have come back. It is all looking good. My thyroid is the only problem still but it is a stable problem, if that makes sense. My levels are a stable high. I have a blood test for that in two weeks to check to see if my thyroid levels have gone down. Hopefully they have! The blood test I had to check if I ovulated came back and I did. I ovulated a good egg, but it just didn't take. I start my second cycle of Clomid on Friday. Hopefully it goes as well as it did last time. I had no symptoms last time and I ovulated so hopefully the same goes for this time. Thankfully it worked wonders on spotting in between periods. That was so awesome! It was great to not have to wonder if I was going to start two weeks early. So now it is just more waiting and hoping and praying. I was so hoping that the Clomid would be the key to getting pregnant, and I tried not getting my hopes up too high, but it was hard and I was still crushed when I started having PMS and my period started. Every month I tell myself not to get my hopes up, but I fail every time. Anyways! On to other more fun topics.

Abe and I have had a fun summer! We went to my family reunion. We ate yummy food and went swimming. That is always great! My sweet cousin Isabelle cried when it was over because she just wanted it to last forever haha. She is adorable. We went to Idaho and visited our families on the Fourth of July. We had fireworks with Abe's family on the third. My dad joined us for that and it was like the funniest thing ever. My dad got so excited about the fireworks and he had s much fun. I loved seeing that. He talked about it for days after. On the Fourth we had lunch with Abe's family. Then we drove to Idaho Falls and hung out with my family and watched the firework show there. We had a great time with both families. We went to an Ogden Raptors MILB game. I loved it! We had so much fun.

The Raptors also won! That was awesome haha. We are hoping to go to another game soon. School also starts in a little over a month. We are not exactly excited for that. I have a lot of preparation I need to do still for student teaching and another class I am in. It should be exciting! I hopefully pass all of my classes and graduate in December. Well we hope everyone is having an awesome summer!

Amanda and Abraham

Blood Test Results!

Hello!
Happy late 4th of July! Just a few updates today. Abe and I are now both 23! I finished my first Clomid cycle a week ago. I had no side effects with it. I did not even get grumpy! So that was great! Some more good news! I have lost 5 pounds! Which is awesome! I finally got my blood results! I thought they were gonna call me, they had not called, but I got sick of waiting and I called them. There is nothing wrong with my ovaries. Actually, the Ovarian Assessment Report was good. I am in the top 80th percentile. Which means I have more eggs than 80% of women my age. And my eggs are healthy. My score was 16 which means my egg supply is excellent. Because of this news, that means the PCOS is not bad at all. They said I do have a tiny bit of ovulation dysfunction. The Clomid should help with that.
The kicker is that my thyroid levels were really high, which is not good or a surprise. My mom had thyroid problems and cancer and my grandma has had thyroid problems. My levels were like 5. something and for maximum fertility they should be around 2. something. So I am going to go onto medication to stabilize and lower those levels. I have more blood tests next week and then again in three weeks to retest my thyroid levels. We are so glad that the PCOS is not bad and that thyroid problems are a bit easier to fix than ovary problems. Hopefully we will get pregnant here in a few months! Thanks for all of the support and help I have received from everyone! I received a few Facebook messages and texts from friends and I want you guys to know that you helped me a lot. Thank you so much for that! Have a good week!

-Amanda

Doctor's Appointment- Ultrasound and Blood Drawn

Hello!

First I just want to say that I was using this blog mostly as like a marriage/ life journal. Now that we have been having fertility issues, I want people who are going through what we are going through to know that there is someone out there who knows a little bit how they feel... If that made sense. Everyone's fertility issues are different, but anyone who is having fertility problems probably all hurt in one way or another. I have gotten several compliments from friends about this blog and I want to thank them for that. What I write is personal, and I am afraid people will think I am weird for being so personal...but I want to help people and give and get support. Yes! I also want someone to talk to about this haha. And I know it is not the best written blog out there haha I am sorry about that. 

Well my doctor's appointment was today. I got my blood drawn and had an ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries. My doctor found that I have PCOS :-( He saw 12 little cysts in both of my ovaries and my periods are not regular. So the blood test that I had today will tell us how severe it is. We are praying it is not too bad. There were no  growths or sores in my uterus and everything else looked normal. My blood test will come back in a week and will tell us more. Hopefully it is good news and hopefully Clomid will stop my dang spotting between my periods and hopefully I will get pregnant. I have to get my blood drawn again 8 days after I ovulate to test a certain hormone. So more waiting! Yay! :-S Ugh! 

I was expecting to be diagnosed with PCOS, but I was hoping I would be wrong. Especially because I am not having outward signs of PCOS. I would like to blame my weight gain on it, but really I think that is because I got lazy after we got married and stopped exercising. The only symptom I seemed to be having was slightly irregular periods. I always have a period every month. Never have I missed one, but they start between days 25 and 31. They do not always start on day 28 of my cycle. So I was hoping it was just hormones. But nope! The cysts popped up on the ultrasound and I have PCOS. Now that it is official I have been feeling hopeless about getting pregnant. I have heard that a lot of people with PCOS do not get pregnant with fertility pills, so I am afraid I will be one of those people. I just need to suck it up and have faith in the Lord's timing. Easier said than done haha.

I started Clomid today. I have read terrible things about Clomid. So I am expecting to gain 10 pounds, which is awful since I have been trying to lose the 20 pounds I gained when we got married, and be a very grumpy wife/person who eats chocolate all day long. Hopefully I am not like that and we are praying that it works and I get pregnant. Here are my lovely pictures of my pills. Thanks for reading! I will update as results come in. Have an awesome week!

~Amanda

Fertility Consultation

Hello to all!

Abe and I had our consultation with our fertility specialist today. He went over our family histories with us. He also went over Abe's semen analysis that we had done this last fall, and my testing that I have had done. Abe's testing looked great. No problems with him. So, the next step we all decided was that I will be doing a blood test to make sure that my ovaries are healthy, checking my hormones, and testing my thyroid and any chance that I have diabetes. The specialist said that it does not look like I have diabetes, but he wants us to get pregnant so he is doing tests haha. He wants to make sure that he has checked everything. I will also be getting another ultrasound to recheck my uterus and ovaries. This time they are checking for endometrial polyps, which is a growth in the uterus, because I have been having spotting for two weeks before my period for the past two months. They are also going to check my endometrial lining to make sure it is healthy. And checking my follicles. Thankfully one ultrasound will show all of this and I get those ultrasound results right away. The blood tests will take a week to get the results and I have to wait for both the ultrasound and blood tests until the third day of my next cycle. So more waiting for the time being. When I go in to get my blood test done and my ultrasound, I will be given a prescription for Clomid. The specialist said if I do not have a growth in my uterus my spotting may be happening because I have low estrogen, so Clomid will help boost that estrogen and help me ovulate. If it doesn't help the spotting and I do not have a growth in my uterus, then I will be given estrogen to stop the spotting. Hopefully the ultrasound and blood tests all look good and I can just take the Clomid and get pregnant. In about 2-3 weeks we will have answers to all of these questions and tests and I will be on Clomid. Hopefully this works and I will be able to get pregnant! We will continue to keep this updated. Thanks for reading!

Abraham and Amanda

HSG Test!

I had my HSG test done today! I was a bit nervous for it, like I am for every single doctors appointment. Abe had to work :-( , so my sweet mother came down to go with me and drive me around. They gave me a muscle relaxer to help me calm down and relax before the test. That was the best thing ever. I need one every time I go to the doctor. I have read in many blogs and websites that the HSG test is extremely painful and horrible. I was ready for the most painful and awful experience of my life... It was so so much better than I was expecting! It was a bit uncomfortable and the fertility specialist had trouble getting the catheter through my cervix, which did hurt and pinch quite a bit, and he only had trouble because I have never had a baby before, but other than that it was totally fine. When he inserted the dye, I could feel it go in, but it did not hurt at all. I had slight cramping for a few minutes after the whole procedure, but it was totally worth it. I got my results right away! I do NOT have blocked fallopian tubes! It was such a great relief. Abe and I are so happy :-). The dye went in perfectly and I am completely open. The doctor said that if anything is wrong then it is probably because I am not ovulating the same time every month or maybe hormones can be messed up (that's what I think since I haven't had my blood checked). I have a consultation next week that Abe and I will be going to with the main fertility specialist (not the same guy who did the test, but hopefully just as nice). Hopefully we can talk and maybe get some more answers and helpful advice then. For now we are just so happy and relieved to know that my tubes are open and look good. It really is so nice to be getting some answers and help from nice doctors who actually give me time and let me ask questions about what they are doing and what I can do. I am very glad that I am going to a specialist rather than just doing exactly what my OB/GYN said and taking the Clomid without doing testing. I now feel comfortable taking Clomid knowing that my tubes are fine. We really are so happy and relieved. I am excited for the consultation next week and I will keep updating as we go through this experience! We hope everyone has a great week and enjoy the warm weather!

Amanda

Lots of Updates

Well Abe and I want to say hello to all!
We have been super busy the past three months. This last semester of school was crazy. Abe had two classes that were at night, and I was at school almost every day from 9 to 3. Then we had work at night. It was a busy semester, but a lot of fun. I was able to make lesson plans for the children's school at WSU. Abe is finished with his minor in ESL. I graduate in December! Finally! I am also doing student teaching in the fall. I am very excited! I will be student teaching at Weber State's children's school. I will be student teaching the preschool class. It is going to be so fun. I am very excited! We are so glad it is summer break. We can actually relax and have dinner together.

Abe got a summer job at a place called Focus. They do inbound customer service calls for CenturyLink and Direct TV. He has been in training for the past week. He says it seems like a good job and he has been enjoying himself. He plays ping pong with everyone there and has one every game except one. He is very proud of himself haha :-) I had found a job at a daycare, but it was at a Methodist church, and they were trying to get me to sign things that said I recognize that theirs is the true church, and I believe that the LDS church is the true church, so I decided to stop pursuing that job. I felt very uncomfortable there, but they were very nice people and I respect them! So now I am on a job hunt. Finding a place to work where they do not make you work on Sundays is extremely difficult here. So I have been able to apply to one place, that is Seagull Book. I am praying I get  the open position there so that we can put all of the money I make into savings.

We are still not pregnant. We have officially hit the year mark of trying. I thought I would go to the doctor and because we have hit a year she would say that I am infertile. Thankfully that was not the case. If I do not get pregnant this month then I am going to get what is called an HSG test. It is going to cost us 2/3 of our savings, but we feel like it is the right thing to do. Pretty much they shoot dye into my uterus and fallopian tubes and make sure that my tubes are open and make sure my uterus is not misshapen. I really do not want to pay for or go through testing, but it really looks like I am going to have to and we both really want to get pregnant. Abe and I have decided that test should be done before I take Clomid because there is really no reason for messing with hormones and forcing me to ovulate if my tubes are blocked. So we are preparing for that fertility test. We are praying that everything is fine because we cannot afford to do any surgeries. I really thought I was pregnant last month. I was not having any signs of my period and so I took a pregnancy test on the day I was supposed to start, and it was negative. My period was 4 days late. I am at most 2 days late, so that was really awful. At that point I had lost all hope that I was ever going to get pregnant. I was upset for days. I was really sick of being disappointed every month. I wondered what was wrong with me and why  God wouldn't bless us with a baby of our own. I did not feeling like that. Not one bit. I felt bitter and angry. So I decided to just let it go and pray and read my scriptures and find happy thoughts online. Since doing that, I have felt better about the past year. It has been a growing experience and it has taught us a lot about our marriage and our strengths and weaknesses. Abe is so patient and loving. He really is amazing and is always willing to give me a blessing when I am feeling upset and impatient. This is really a trial for me and I am so thankful to have such an amazing husband to help me through this.

We are so happy that its summer! We are going to camp and hike a bit this summer. We hope to make it up to Yellowstone for a weekend. We love all of our family and friends and hope that you all are doing well!

-Amanda and Abraham

Extremely Late Happy Holidays and updates!

Hello All!

Happy Holidays! Yes it is late and I have not written in ages! For Thanksgiving Abe and I went to Rexburg and had Thanksgiving with his family! It was a lot of fun! We played a lot of games and ate a lot! As is customary for Thanksgiving! We were able to go see my parents and sisters a couple of times while we were up. We did not do Black Friday (or Thursday now). Shame. We plan on doing it next year though! Abe's parents have an exchange student from Italy staying with them until June! It was fun to see her reactions to Abe's whole family there and trying new food. She also introduced us to yummy Italian snacks and cakes! It was great to see Abe's whole family together. We truly enjoyed it.

School ended two weeks after Thanksgiving break. We passed all of our classes with very good grades! Abe's older brother Isaac graduated from Weber State. I am sure he is happy to be done! I got like 8 inches cut off of my hair. It only took me a year to actually do it. But I love it and it is so much easier to take care of short hair! Abe and I were able to visit Temple Square before we went to Rexburg for Christmas break. We really enjoyed it, like we always do! It is so beautiful and the Temple just looks gorgeous with Christmas lights surrounding it.

Since we work for Weber State we got a whole month off of school and work. We have been saving up for months to be able to afford that long break, and we did it! We are pretty proud of that. We stayed in Rexburg the whole month that we were off. Our poor parents got to deal with us, our cat, and hamster for that month since we stayed with them. We switched in between houses during that month.

Christmas was wonderful! We spent it with my family this  year. We did go to Abe's parents house Christmas Evening. We got a lot of awesome presents! We got a coffee table from my parents! Which we forgot in Rexburg when we came back to Ogden. I am pretty disappointed about that. We were able to see Amber and Joe and Allie. It was great to have everyone there for Christmas. I am sure my parents truly enjoyed it (not being sarcastic)!  We were able to spend New Year's Eve with my family and we played with nerf guns, hide and seek, and board games. I get homesick, so being there was the best. Spending a month in Rexburg was really awesome. We loved our time there and we were so sad to go home.

School started up Monday. So far it has been good. We are only two days in though. I have two classes with labs this semester. So that is going to be a lot. Abe has a class called Horror and Superstition. Sounds pretty cool! He is excited for it!

We are still not yet pregnant. I went to my doctor again and she just checked to make sure I was ovulating again, which I was, and gave me a prescription for Clomid. I have been putting off taking it so that if I do happen to get pregnant on it, I will be graduated by the time I give birth. So I will most likely start it in March or April. We are praying that it works, because frankly trying to get pregnant is hard and gets depressing when it takes a long time. It has almost been a year of trying now and I get more depressed every month. I feel like Wendy from What to Expect When You're Expecting. She is the one that has her phone tell her when she is ovulating. Yeah I have totally done that. I have Crazy Ovulating Lady Syndrome. November and December I tried relaxing a bit and chilled out. I will keep trying to do that until March. We hope for the best!

We hope everyone had an awesome holiday season!

~Abraham and Amanda

Updates: School, New Jobs, Random Stuff, and our One Year Anniversary!

Hello!
It has been awhile! We have been super busy with school and work! Abe and I started school again in August! So we have been back in for over a month now. Our classes are going great! Abe loves his Spanish classes and is even in a class with one of his mission companions! I am enjoying my Early Childhood classes and I am very excited to start this new major! We both are doing very well. Abe has a test over the phone for Spanish comprehension and conversation abilities. He says he is pretty nervous for it, but I know he will be amazing! I just took a test on Early Childhood Education and I got 100% on it, so I am pretty happy!

We quit our jobs at the group home! We were tired of going to work and having extreme anxiety at work. We could get hit and punched at any moment there, and it was exhausting emotionally. So we quit! We are now working for Weber State University at the call center on campus. It is very relaxing and it is awesome! We feel very blessed to be able to work there and to have found new jobs so quickly.

We are still not yet pregnant. I went to the doctor because we have been trying for 6 months and we have been getting very frustrated and sad. Everything looks great for me! My doctor did an ultrasound and I actually got to see the egg I was about to ovulate (sorry if that's too much info!). She gave us a lot of helpful tips so we are hoping for the best!

We had our one year anniversary on Sunday! It was awesome! We spent the weekend at a hotel in Ogden. On Friday we rode the train to Salt Lake City and spent the afternoon there! It was a lot of fun! We went to Temple Square and City Creek mall. It was so fun While we were waiting for the train to take us back to Ogden we got stuck in a crazy thunderstorm! We both got soaked, but it was really cool, and frightening to see the lightning strike over the city. On Saturday we swam at our hotel and went to dinner at Chuck a Rama. Best dinner ever! Their mashed potatoes and gravy are amazing! And their salad bar is huge! It was great! On Sunday we went to church and just relaxed! It was really a great weekend!

We hope everything is going well for all of our family and friends!

Abraham and Amanda

End of Summer Update

Hello Everyone!
It has been a busy summer! Busy and very good! Sadly we are not yet pregnant. Birth control was terrible for me and it has taken awhile for my body to go back to normal. Hopefully soon we will be pregnant! It is hard to be patient. Especially since I am in Primary and I see cute little kids all of the time. It is hard for me not to be kind of depressed and upset that I am not yet pregnant. I see FB posts from girls we graduated with who complain about their babies crying and not napping a full hour, and it is really frustrating. And then I have some people who tell me that they know how I feel, and it only took them one time to get pregnant. Haha not what I want to hear. I never believe them when they say they know how I feel. I appreciate them trying to help though! But really we have it good and I am glad that I have good friends and an incredible husband! I am not sick or anything, so it will happen eventually (hopefully)!

We were able to celebrate both of our birthdays in June! Abe's June 12th and mine June 29thWe are now 22 years old! Kinda weird!

My cousin Chandler left on his mission almost a month ago. He is still at the MTC right now bust soon he will be going to the Cape Verde mission in Africa! We went to his farewell and it was just wonderful. He is an amazing kid! We will miss him for the 2 years he is gone!

We went to California for my Great-Grandpa's funeral. The funeral was sad, but the rest of the trip was really good! I cried when we had to come home. I lived in California until I was 10 and moving to Idaho was traumatic (when I was 10, it isn't anymore). We went swimming a few times and we were able to hang out with my grandparents and cousins. It really was so much fun. We had not seen my family since Christmas so it made me so happy!

Abe and I start school in a few weeks! Whoo! We always tell ourselves that we are gonna go to class every day and do our homework ahead of time... Wish us luck with that. We got grants for school. Thank goodness! And we are applying to become Utah Residents. So hopefully we get instate tuition and no longer have to use loans to pay for school!

Fall is coming soon! We are so excited! Cooler weather, warm clothes, hot chocolate, and pretty leaves! It is going to be awesome! I am so excited! It will be great!

Amanda

Big Changes Happening!

Hello!
This has been a very eventful week. I have changed majors and quit part of my job. Abe has found a new job and has started training. School is out for summer (unless you are taking summer classes like I am). You may be thinking, why the heck would she change majors if she is two semesters away from graduating? Let me tell you! It is a long story though so if you really do not care, I would suggest not reading the next five paragraphs.

So I was working at a foster care agency as an Assistant Program Administrator, I was in social work so my supervisor and I thought it would be awesome if I could do my Social Work internship with them. I would be working with the foster parents and the foster children, and I would also be working at a group home that the company is in charge of, for mentally disabled women, for the experience. So I was working like 3 different jobs for one company. It was going well at first, but things started to get a bit crazy because of the end of the semester. I had homework and tests that needed to be done.

Easter Sunday, I told a foster parent that I could not take the foster children for her Monday because I had two finals that I needed to take that day. She said okay and thanks for letting her know. Then an hour later she sent me really nasty texts on how I am not making her a priority and I am not doing my job and she hates me and the company and we are unprofessional. She stated she was letting my supervisor know that I do not help her out with anything and I am not doing my job. I apologized and said I will take them and try to figure out my tests. She sent a few more rude texts and I never answered back.

Well, I was up all night crying because I did everything I possibly could for her, the kids real mom cancelled visits almost every week and rescheduled visits with them all of the time and I took them every single time to see her. I had cancelled once before with the foster mom because the company needed me at the group home, and once because of tests and homework, but that was it. The next morning (I had gotten like 4 hours of sleep that night) my boss called me and very harshly asked what I had done and said he had never had any problems with this foster parent before today. The foster mom had told him that I have cancelled on her every week and never took the kids anywhere, and she said she was filing a complaint against the company because of me. So pretty much I was feeling like it was all my fault even though I was telling the truth.. I told him what had happened and I emailed him all of my time cards, and reports I have written on the kid's visits (it was required that I write a report any time I saw the kids, thankfully I did it!). I never lied one bit, and he could see that thank goodness.

It was enough to show me that Social Work was not something I want to go into. I have never been treated so poorly in my life. I have never been accused of so many false things in my life. It caused me so much stress and worry and I just do not want to go into a career that makes me feel so stressed and worried and gross. I had been thinking about changing for a few months now and had done some previous research about what interests me, but I never really had a reason to change, but now I do and goodness I am so happy and excited to be out of social work! So I switched! I am now a Early Childhood major! This change only adds one or two more semesters to my schooling, so I figured, what the heck. I deserve to do something I want to do.

I have also resigned from Assistant Program Administrator and taking care of the foster kids. I now just work at the group home, and I really enjoy it! I am so happy about this change. I feel a thousand times better and happier. I just take things too personally. I had my supervisor tell me that you get used to it and become numb, but that seemed terrible to me so that is when I made the absolute final decision to switch. I am so excited to start my new major! So instead of having 2 semesters left, I have 3 or 4. Depends on how many classes I take a semester and if I get permission to do student teaching at a preschool with some other classes I am supposed to take before I do that. I am so happy though. My family and my amazing husband have also been very supportive of my decision. That makes it even better.

Abe has a new job at a group home helping mentally disabled men. It is the same company that I have been working for. He seems to really be enjoying it! Which is really good! He will be working 20-25 hours a week instead of 12-16 hours a week like he was at the WSU Alumni Center. So we will be make a considerable amount more. Which is great because we have been trying to save up for a baby! He is very good at his job. He is good at everything he does really! He is incredible! He is done with school until August, and he is very excited about it.

Big news! For those who live in Utah or close to Utah or anything about Utah! The Ogden Temple Open House dates have been announced! The temple will be available for the public to visit during an open house, which will run from Aug. 1 to Sept. 6, excluding Sundays. There will also be a cultural celebration on Sept. 20. You can read about it yourself and learn more about the open house on www.ksl.com It is pretty darn exciting! It will be rededicated September 21, 2014! This is great because Abe and I have a hard time getting to the Bountiful Temple even though it is like 35 minutes away. We are so excited and blessed to have temples so close to us!

Well thanks for reading! We hope you enjoy!

~Abraham and Amanda Thomas

Little Updates on our Lives

Hello! It has been awhile! Again. It is hard doing anything besides work and school right now. Abe is  busy with end of the semester projects and last minute homework. He also has to work nights so doing anything fun right now is pretty close to impossible. I am busy with work and school also. Thankfully though, I do not have any projects. In a week and a half we will be done with this semester and we will be able to have some fun! Then I start school again May 5. Abe is taking the summer off. My goal is to graduate as fast as I can.

Anyways! That was our extremely exciting school update! There really isn't much to say! May is coming up pretty quickly and we are hoping to start trying to get pregnant then. Lately it is all I can think about. Which makes me feel bad because I worry that Abe thinks I am not happy with just him. I am! I totally am! I have just always wanted to be a mom. Ever since I was little. There was a time when I was a teenager that I was horrified about the birthing process so I said I was never going to be a mom. Thankfully I grew out of that. About a year ago haha.

Our 6 month anniversary of being married was a few weeks ago! We went and played poker at Abe's bosses home that night. It was a lot of fun! Abe won so he got $20! Whoo! Haha I got second to last. It was still a lot of fun though! We enjoyed it! The week after that we went to Abe's older brother's house and played poker with them. We didn't play with money that time. We usually do not play for money. Just that once with Abe's boss and coworkers.

We finally got our wedding pictures paid off and we received them this past week!! They are so great! Our photographer did a wonderful job! She was a lot of fun to work with. Her name is Rachel Taylor. Her website is http://raetayphotography.com/  . She is an Idaho/ Utah photographer. I do believe that she is moving to California soon though! Which is too bad. I recommend her to anyone! She is awesome!

Well thanks for sticking around to read the boring little updates of our life together! Hopefully soon we will have more exciting things to write about!! I wish I was good at this like some friends of mine are! See you soon!
~Amanda

Catch up!

Well! I made this and got busy and kept forgetting to write! I am mostly using this for a little family journal. So if you happen to read it, well I am sorry if it is boring! Okay! I will start with our first married Valentines Day! It was awesome! I had done lots of idea searching on Pinterest (of course!) and decided that I was going to make him a Sharpie mug stuffed with sour gummy worms. Everything was great! I got the mug and the Sharpies and the candy. I drew what i wanted on the mug and baked it. I let it cool off, then I wrapped it. He opened it and loved it! He used it, and the first time he washed it the marker came off! Haha I did a little more research and learned tat you cannot use normal permanent markers for the mugs. You have to use a special kind. So I need to fix it! But it is the thought that counts, right? He still uses it and loves it :-).
Abe kept putting off going shopping for Valentines Day, which made me concerned that he either kept forgetting or was going to have me pick out my own Valentines Day gift. So we went to bed on the 13th and I had no idea what his plan was. His alarm rang at 7:15 am on February 14th so he could get ready to go class. He got ready and kissed me goodbye. I fell back asleep because I didn't have work that day and my classes are all online this semester. All of the sudden Abe came crashing into the room. I sat up in a panic and looked at the clock. It was 9:00 am. Abe saw that he woke me up and demanded that I close my eyes. So I did, and he crawled into bed with me and handed me something wrapped in plastic. I looked down and it was a rose! I had never gotten a rose before. So it was the best Valentines Day gift ever!! His other half of his gift to me was skipping class and napping with me. It was the best Valentines Day ever. Abraham is the best husband! I love him and his thoughtfulness very much. That day we went to a museum for our little Valentines date. Then we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. It was delicious! It was a great day!
Next! Abe's older brother, Isaac, and his wife Mandee had their little baby boy! They named him Davian and he is the cutest nephew ever! They invited us to see him at the hospital the day after he was born. it was an amazing experience. I hadn't seen a newborn baby like that since my little twin sisters were born 15 years ago. He is so adorable. He has the tiniest fingers, toes, and nose. I am grateful that I got to see him so soon. Babies are little miracles.
Last! Our big announcement for this year. Well one of them we hope. I am now officially off of my birth control! We are hoping to be pregnant by September. We will start really trying to get pregnant in a month or two. I am super excited! A little nervous, but mostly excited! Abe is mostly nervous I think, but he does tell me that he is excited also! We are hoping and praying for the best with this new adventure! I worry because I hear of so many people who have problems getting pregnant. So I have started exercising more and I am trying to eat a little healthier. I also worry that I won't start ovulating again as quickly as I would like. I am sure worrying and stressing will not help with that. So I make myself do other activities besides worry. We are excited and happy to be starting our little family soon! We hope everything goes well with everyone we know and love!

About Us!

Abraham and I met when we were 15. We dated all throughout high school. When we graduated from high school we went to Weber State University together for a year. When Abraham and I turned 19 (he is only 17 days older than me) he went on an LDS mission to Monterrey Mexico. As he was gone I kept going to school at WSU. I am going into Social Work. I didn't date at all when he was gone! I had fun with friends though! Abraham got home July 2013. We got married September 2013. It has been so much fun finally being married! We love it! Abe got me an adorable kitten for a wedding gift. His name is Rumpelstiltskin. We adore him. He is extremely spoiled! We give him purified water in a glass bowl and he gets to sleep under our covers with us. A cat can't get much more spoiled than that! I am in my senior year at WSU. I will be getting my bachelors in social work soon! Abe is going into Spanish. He hopes to become a Spanish professor.We are excited to share our fun adventures with you and we hope you enjoy life as much as we do!